Wednesday, 25 March 2009

portrait

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how time passes or pauses and you miss it or catch it or it just drifts. we bargained some he narrowed it to [i can't remember what] the boy and i, he kept word and channelled the beach around himself. december like late summer still. these are time capsules things he can look at later and wonder at himself, hard fought for, perhaps enough moments recorded perhaps enough of his own evolution shown. for the little i do for the lack of interest i show. maybe its not enough ... or is...later will tell him that. He swam postponing til the sun had almost set always brave about the coldest waters. telling me what to shoot in these clear days of him and me, counting each shot as bargained. what can one ever do to readress the past? fasten your seat belt when seated, most times i make a pigs arse of it but just occasionally i can summon the humour that pleases him and lets him feel close. who can take into account the events of a decision not made - but prepared is not a word that comes to mind. J told me today that an average cloud weighs 40000 tons yet when you pass through it you barely feel the moisture, kinda considered that as an analogy for myself, could be a good day. but the boy don't like living here too much of late, considers samos mecca and has advised the purchase of a small property for himself there, how to explain that its not the place but the head set that makes it work... and what does anybody want in the long run but amusement distraction and toys to counter the human 
condition... occupation, a dream social ... things and things all gradually eroding to nothing. so here is better in many ways for the boy and his many ambitions or fables about himself, they'd have stripped him bare back there where he was born. 14 years i've known him and now am unknowing more than that ever amounted to thats how it passes by, especially with a memory like mine. I'd like to go for a journey with him, though he'd probably be too embarassed to be seen with me now. think he's got some inkling of the cool potential of the cameras due to his friends i've shot and they were impressed so he came out of it with kudos.
galloping through the years.